One thing that the phrase “God doesn’t give us more than we can bear” can create is a sense that we should be able to “face this on our own.” As in, not burden other people with our stuff.
Well, this would certainly not be a biblical concept either! Certainly, there are some things that we should face on our own – Galatians 6 talks about how we have some burdens we need to bear…
But it also talks about burdens too heavy for us to bear… and instructs us…
“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Gal 6:1-2)
Look at James 5:13-16:
“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. 14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed…”
or
“If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.[1] (I cor 12:26)
Do these sound like we are meant to face hard things alone, or is it more likely that we are supposed to share our burdens and pains together? Then why would we come to church and pretend that only good things are going on in our lives? We should be quick to share with one another…
In fact, sometimes in the Evangelical world we forget that we are meant to be God’s gifts to one another! Consider the case of Adam…
“…The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, 17 but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him…”
Notice how God did not just provide more of Himself to Adam! God’s provision for Adam’s situation was to create a helper for him… another person. When Jesus sent out 72 people to proclaim the Kingdom of Heaven (“like sheep among wolves”) He sent them out in pairs.
We need each other and whether the cultural ethic is that would should be able to face our own problems all on our own, pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps (even if you are from Texas (like me), Wyoming, Australia, or other places that idolize rugged individualism), the Christian ethic is to live life together.
Praying for one another…
Celebrating together…
Suffering together…
Bearing one another’s burdens…
God will not let us face us more than we can bear? Rubbish. But He does give us one another to help us bear whatever we face.
But I am not done yet. There will be a part III as well, I think…
God Will not give you More than you can bear – Really? Part II
[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. 2001 (1 Co 12:26). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.
I think this depends on your motive. Is it your motive to get help and insight? Is it to help someone understand what is going on or are you trying to make other people look bad. If you involving others just so you can vent and tell everyone what you have had to deal with then I think that is gossip but if your truly seeking guidance and perspective, I think you just need to be selective on who you share with. Be sure that they are people who love you and respect your privacy. Don’t share with unbelievers or family if your conflict is with a spouse, unless you are in an abusive situation.
I tend to agree with that… personally, I have said for years that you can say what you want to about me, so long as you love me… and altruistically, I think that is true. However, so few people understand love as independent of feelings that I sometimes worry about that!
Is it pride that keeps us from sharing problems with one another? And, doesn’t God despise pride? Also if sharing, involves others is this gossipping?
There is certainly a difference btw involving others in our challenges and gossiping… though I know the line can be fuzzy for sure. Getting help is for us. Gossip is against them. However, I think we have to risk it sometimes.
Very good !! I think this is what god intends as well . Really looking forward to doctrine of electon !!