The Lonely Dragon
The story of a woman who fights against what she really wants.
Note: this is my first shot and it is almost stream-of-consciousness with very little filtering. Please offer your feedback.
Once upon a time there was a beautiful little princess. She was very sweet and gentle and very clever. She was so bright that she seemed to light up a room when she entered it.
She was a treasure.
Sadly, not everyone in her life was good at spotting treasure. Maybe her parents were like poor treasure hunters who, even though they had a treasure right in their midst, could not recognize her for what she was.
There are people who own a precious old Indian blanket that lays folded a chair, or a priceless crystal vase that holds flowers, sitting in
their house for years. Because they don’t know, or can’t see, or won’t see,
they treat it as common…
even though it is treasure.
That is what her parents might have been like.
Sometimes parents, or at least a parent, is like that. Sometimes moms can be extremely critical and they never seem pleased with their daughter.
Sometimes dads fail to hug their princesses, don’t tell them they are loved, and never tells them how wonderful they are.
And to be honest, there are some parents who are more than silent and ignorant. They are, well…
Monster’s don’t treat treasure as common, they treat it as something to be used up and thrown out.
They don’t merely misunderstand treasure, they hate it. Their lives are in a state of declared war against anything that seems like treasure.
Their lives are dedicated to the systematic diminishment and destruction of treasure. As unthinkable as it is,
this does happen.
Or maybe it was more the way her “friends” treated her in school. It could have been that she felt left out all the time. Sometimes other
girls can be negative and cruel.
Sometimes in their own insecurity, in their own journey to feel special, young girls can make another little girl feel…
Sometimes being a princess makes it all better with the other girls. But sometimes it actually only makes it worse. Maybe for the
little princess, it was just worse. Maybe it was her parents, and /or maybe it was the girls.
A third option would be the boys. Maybe it was the boys.
As the little princess got a little older, some of the boys starting paying special attention to her, and there are few things that make a young princess feel better about herself than when boys start paying attention.
She learned to laugh at their jokes and sometimes she even pretended not to be smart for the ones she thought didn’t want her to be. All of this would have been pretty normal; a lot of the girls did this to one degree or another. However, remember that the little princess was never certain of some things she really needed to know…
Most little girls, once they reach a certain age, pretend to disregard what their daddy says to and about them. Many daddies say how beautiful their daughters are – and when they are young ladies, the girls often say things back to their fathers like “whatever, Dad.”
Or maybe they just think it.
But what if they don’t ever have the chance to say or think it because father doesn’t say it? That is a much, much worse feeling.
It is like starving…
Starving to death. So when someone is starving, they stop being very discriminating about food. Sometimes, when someone is starving for
acceptance, affirmation, identity or love, they often become willing to accept cheap, inedible, and sometimes even toxic versions of those things.
Maybe the princess began to trade in the commodities that toxic people trade in which are pretty much always about using people as common
and very replaceable…
not at all like treasure.
Like something cheap and ordinary,
Like a common field, and not like the fortune buried under the “x” there.
Some or any of those things might have happened in the life of the princess. Lord knows at least some of all of that does in the lives of most princesses, and everyone else too…
Most of the time, she didn’t even realize how bad it was.
(It’s hard to know what to compare one’s own life to.)
But all of the time, it was doing damage. After a while, she rarely felt safe on the inside, so she went away to the mountains to hide.
At first, she just went there sometimes to hide in a cave a feel safe, and sometimes she would meet someone who seemed safe, but in the
end, somehow, she would be hurt again.
So, finally, she moved into the cave full time…
(more later this week)