“God will never give you more than you can bear.”
This is a common phrase that people tell one another in the name of Jesus (or maybe just in the name of any God).
I know that there have been many who have received comfort with this thought… and others who have experienced guilt from thinking that if this is true, then they should be handling their situation better than they are.
Sadly, though, I think there is some serious error in the sentiment.
First, it is not scriptural.
Did you know that the phrase “Play it again, Sam” never appears in the movie 
“Casablanca” … and allegedly, the phrase “Beam me up, Scotty” is never spoken in the original Star Trek series? (as big fan as I am of the movies, I do not know the original series well enough to verify this)…
It must be just as surprising to many that this phrase “God will never give you more than you can bear” does not appear in the Christian or Hebrew Holy books. (in truth, there are many things people think are there but aren’t. Check it out.
The closest passage, and the one that most people go to in defense of this statement is 1 Cor 10:13. Here it is:
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (ESV)
Here we have a passage that is about idolatry, and in particular, temptation. What God promises is to never allow anyone to be tempted beyond their ability to resist the temptation.
It does not say that God will never allow us to face more than we can bear in regards to grief, pain, abuse, debt, hurt etc… (for a much deeper look into the grief side of things, check out this series on grief)…
Further, check out Jesus’ words about the early Christian life in Matthew 24:9-10: “Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake. And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another.” (ESV)
Or even better…
“They will put you out of the synagogues. Indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God.” (John 16:2)
Apparently, God never giving us more than we can bear would not include being hated, betrayed, persecuted, and killed… sometimes in God’s own name! Suffering to the point of death must not be considered “more than we can bear” since God allows and even sometimes brings all kinds of suffering into His people’s lives.
So, as another example of God giving someone more than they can at even survive…
John the Baptist suffers in prison until he is beheaded. (Matt 14)
Jesus was beaten and crucified.
Job was crushed in every way but final, and I always thought his survival might have been the worst of all the pain he was given to face.
I think my favorite person to ask this question would be Paul… listen to this that God allowed in His life!
“…Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Cor 11:24-27)
Eventually, church history says that Paul was also beheaded.
So, not “more than we can bear” must not include things that actually kill us.
Apparently, life is more than we can bear, since we all leave it someday.
But would God bring us to suffer – to give us so much that we bleed? The writer of Hebrews chastises his/her audience bc they “have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood!”
Romans 8:17 tells us that we suffer with Him so we can be glorified with Him!
Also Paul makes clear in Phil 3:10-11 that he rejoices in sharing in the sufferings of Christ to the point of death so that he can share in the resurrection with Him too!
How about this one from Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians 1:8:
8 “For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.”
They were afflicted “beyond (their) strength” – that sounds like exactly the opposite of saying it wasn’t more than they could bear. It was, in his own words, beyond their strength.
Maybe, then, the phrase would be meant to make us feel guilty for seeking help from others? After all, if God doesn’t give us more than we can bear, then we should be able to bear, alone, whatever He sends our way… right? I think we will start there next time…
No matter what we face in this life, we should never give in or give up on our faith in Jesus, and our hope in his glory and promise.
True, and be aware that He has not promised us ease or a comfortable life.
Great post. I have struggled a lot with trying to understand why God has allowed so much physical and emotional pain in my life.I am Christian and I can say without a doubt that I have been given more than I can bear. I struggle with many trauma symptoms and severe damage to my being because of what I have gone through. I am not healed physically or emotionally yet and I do not know if I will be. I often fear dying which is not a far fetched threat because of the state of my body, or living a life where my mind or emotions are permanently impaired by trauma. It has made it very hard, at times in my opinion, impossible to trust God.
I often feel ashamed because of my young age and the amount of damage I have already. It helps to know and read about the suffering of those in the Bible. Particularly Paul. I imagine that he lived with chronic pain and some sort of lasting damage after the stoning and the beating of the rods.
It is hard to believe God loves you when you are suffering in extreme ways.
I am often upset by the pain I hear about, or read about, such as starvation in the world and physical torture of Christians in parts of the world, slavery, untreated trauma that leads to homelessness or destruction of the mind.
It hurts, but it leaves me to believe God would allow a child of His to be destroyed. I struggle to grapple with it, but it is a topic that is constantly on my mind and will be.I want to believe that somehow even in the cave where someone is being mercilessly tortured for their faith, God somehow still has all the control, and has the person right in His hands.
There is no doubt that earthy suffering is maybe the hardest thing to understand from the perspective of a loving father. Soon, I will be posting something on the problems of suffering… and also on how a loving father can allow a child to suffer. As a counselor, I hear about the most evil and wicked expressions of people – one friend was abused by her own father for years… who was a pastor! How does a Good God allow it to happen… emotionally, I cannot answer, but there are some potential understandings that might help that make sense, I think. It is never my job to “defend” God – He does not need it… but I do use this place to share my own understandings of things that often, as people with faith, we don’t want to look at.
Thanks for your comments…
you might be encouraged (or at least commiserate with) my own struggles with the concept of prayer as it touches on this.
Thank you. I appreciate your thoughtful reply. God bless.
So now what? How do I rest when struggling with “more than I can bear” if the “too much” may jut be that… Too much. Can I assume that this overwhelming boatload of junk that’s piling on top of me is a way of making me stronger? Or is it time for my go to perspective that God’s got it covered to mature a little?
Thanks for posting this. Very timely for me… Funny how God does that. I’ll be looking for part 2.
well, it almost certainly will make you stronger… but it may also break you and apparently it could even kill you in the mean time – it did many in the Bible. However, it is certainly an opportunity to rest in God, trusting in Him to be your help as He sees fit… and a chance to seek help from others God provides!
Chris Thank you so much for this! I was under quite a bit of guilt and struggling after so many well meaning people; Christians and even pastors, said this to me. In the book “Jesus Calling”, Aug. 18th, this was the topic as well. Very helpful. Now for part 2! Appreciate!! Sherry Ingram
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I plan to use that day from Jesus Calling that you referred to me… you gave me a different date last time, though, and I couldnt find it – I guess this is the right one?
You are right. Father will not allow the tempter to tempt us beyond our maturity level so that we can resist and Satan must flee. James 1 When we do submit to God (our way of escape) and then resist the enemy and he flees, then we are stronger and are able to overcome more and more. thanks for the article.