Here is an interesting one that I have wrestled with under the heading of

Leadership priorities

Perhaps there is a “leader” reason that the leadership priorities don’t match up with yours. Again, this would most often be an issue of alignment and submission.  I need to submit to and align myself into the line of the direction of the church, generally, and trust that God is orchestrating these changes!

Still, the only version of leadership priorities that would seem like a good reason to leave seem to be mostly just another version of ministry priorities.

What if you join a church that has a strong teaching and discipleship emphasis, you get involved, you make friends, you become a disciple-maker, etc.  Then, the pastor leaves and the new pastor comes in and leads a change to make the church a “seeker-friendly” church.

The Basics are still taught, but the target focus of the ministry – time, money, leadership, resources – move to a different mission.

See, both are totally acceptable emphasesfor a local church – hopefully all churches have aspects of both.  However, some churches have great passion to focus on one end of the continuum or the other.

I think it could be fine to move from that church – but only if that is an authentic ministry priority, not merely a personal preference… and it would be a ministry priority created by a change in Leadership priorities.

Most of the time when I have heard someone leave because of a leader, it was really about either an insight into a moral failing (Basics fail) or it is personal preference only.

So, what do we really mean about personal preference?

Personal preference (and pet peeves)

Most of the time, when I hear people complain about churches and when they describe why they have left churches in the past, they make a point of what essentially are personal preferences or even pet peeves.

Personal preferences are defined as the way you would do things, for no reason other than you prefer them.   These are your favorites, your personal tastes, what makes you comfortable…

There is NOTHING wrong with having personal preferences.  We all have them.  We prefer certain cars, art, music, food, body types, entertainment, and more.  There is nothing wrong, or particularly avoidable about, that.  We can certainly have some impact on what those preferences – and they are guaranteed to change over time, but we cannot change whether we have them.

When it comes to our personal tastes, God does not seem to be overly concerned with them.  I do not see Him honoring them or asking us to honor them.

Typically, the main value of personal preferences seems to be in this – they create a chance for us to sacrifice for someone else.

“In humility, consider others higher than yourselves.”  Phil 2:3